Thursday, May 14, 2009

Be careful what you text

I love to text message. I find it to be a perfect outlet to get straight to the point with a person without the annoyance of having to acually have a real conversation with someone.

Nothing worse to have to be on the phone for 10 minutes with someone when all you need is a one- to two-word response from the person. Text a simple question and wait a few minutes for the answer.

"Hey, what time is the meeting tonight?"

"7 p.m."

Perfect. Didn't have to hear about his or her day and got the information I was looking to get. Impersonal as hell, however, gets straight to the point.

But... text messaging does have its' drawbacks. Like when you text something personal as hell to the wrong person.

Oh, the problems that can cause. I have been guilty of it many times.

The first time was three years ago when my ex-wife picked up my kids from me on a night I was to entertain the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. As soon as she was gone, I quickly typed up the following text:

"Hey... I am finally alone. Hurry up! I want you now!"

Instead of sending it to the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, I sent it to the last person I texted. My ex-wife.

Needless to say, my night didn't go as planned. Instead, I ended up driving to the exes house to pick up my kids because the ex threatened to leave town for good with my girls if I didn't come get them.

You would think I learned my lesson after that. Nope. Yesterday, I did it again.

This time a new coach I just hired was on the receiving of one of my personal texts that went to an innocent receiver.

I spent last weekend with two women co-workers in Las Vegas to help put an end to a recent but lingering funk I have been in. We had a blast going from club to club watching each other hitting on and being hit on by other patrons.

It was great fun. The highlight of the night was listening to one of my friends having to endure one of the worst lines I have ever heard.

"Excuse me. . . can I be blunt?", said an obviously drunk man in his late 50s from New York.

"Absolutely,", said my friend.

I sat in excitement with what he was about to say to my very attractive friend. After hearing what he said, I knew I would never make the same mistake.

"You have real nice boobies."

My friend laughed and said thank you for stating the obvious and kindly asked him to leave.

We laughed all weekend about it and I thought I would have a little fun with her by sending that line to her yesterday afternoon in a text message. But, instead, I sent it to my newly hired coach that I have only known briefly for a month.

While he is a big guy, I would never say he has man boobs. Even if he did, I would never tell him, "You have real nice boobies."

I realized my mistake when I got a text from the coach.

"Hey Coach... While I am flattered, I really think we should keep our relationship strictly to football. But, again, thanks for the compliment."

Damn, I did it again. And, I did it to a guy who I am so thankful that I was able to steal from a rival school. While I was kicking myself for the fuck up, I got another text from him.

"You know Coach, if you take me to Vegas, I will show you my boobies."

Well... at least this time the recipient of my wrong text had a sense of humor about it.


  1. Too funny. All this technology can get us in trouble every now and then. At least he did have a sense of humor about it, that always helps!

  2. Did the same thing the other day. Thankfully it wasn't TOO personal and the person who recieved it also had a sense of humor about it.

  3. Good Gosh Just don't send pics with those texts! You had me laughing so hard I had wipe my eyes.....

    Glad to "hear" from you again. Also, glad (and soooo jealous) you had a good time on your Vegas trip

  4. Nice!!! Bless your heart... that sounds like something I would do. Maybe that's why I don't text much!! :)

  5. YIKES....Ive have done the same thing and man you wish you could just delete it before they get it!!!! now Im super careful and double check BEFORE I hit the send button!!!! oh and its good to see you are back!!! and have a new look for your page!

  6. Hilarious!!

    I've never texted the wrong person, but I have emailed the wrong person. I meant to send an email to my hubby complaining about his mother, but sent it to my MIL instead. Talk about panic! Luckily she was out of town and I happened to know her password, so I immediately got into her email and deleted it. Then I made my hubby go over to her house and check her email from her computer just to make sure it really was deleted.

  7. OMG - Now THAT is funny! And I hope he doesn't let you live it down - not ever!

  8. I sent text's to the wrong person. Luckily, they have never been about their boobs! Seriously LMAO!

  9. Oh man. That sucks.

    Since I have a Blackberry that I use for work and personal, I have to be extra, extra careful about texting.

  10. Oh boy! Note to self, be mindful before pressing that 'send' button! And coach, we need to talk. I don't like it when people take my name in vain. Careful now.

    Stephanie 'Funk'

  11. Hey Coach,
    We are sitting her LOL!!! Haven't done this YET, but my time will come, I'm sure!

    I'm another Funk, related to Stefunk! Yes, be careful when you say, you were in a 'funk'!!!

  12. I am older than you are...all my kids text...I am not a fan of it for many of the reasons you like it! :) kids send me texts all the time...I respond as briefly as I can...usually with "K"

  13. Ha! I once text my daughter to pick up my son from practice...the return text said, "K...I will be there in about 8 hours!"- Duh, I text a friend in San Diego! Lest I said nothing about boobies :)

  14. Okay... I've never done this... but that's hilarious! I'm sure it wasn't at the time... as your stomach drops when you realize your mistake.

    But it's a funny read! :)

  15. If I send you my number will you send me that same message by mistake? :-)

  16. Wow, that's funny. I've made the same mistake on the instant messenger.

    But with e-mails and text messages if I am sending something racy or questionable I will take the trouble to doublecheck and make sure I sent the message to the right person.

  17. oh no! I've totally done that before, but I was talking crap about someone and I accidentally sent it to the girl I was talking crap about! Needless to say, that didn't go over very well....

  18. Laughing my ass off! You totally made my day!!!! Thanks!!!

  19. Oh wow!! That is AWESOME!

    His comebacks surely show you that he's a guy you need to keep around for a long long time.

    One of the things I will miss the most about coaching is seeing the girls come in as freshmen and leave as totally different people when they're seniors.

    And getting through to the tough ones to's just awesome.

  20. It totally get my 3 sisters and my best friend mixed up all the time. I'm waiting for it to come back at me one of these days. Thankfully they all have a sense of humor too :-)