Saturday, August 1, 2009

"Dad, I got a bra!"

The day I have been dreading for 11 years arrived yesterday. I knew it was going to happen, but just not this soon.

I had hoped it would never happen. But, at 7 p.m., my oldest daughter's mother called me and broke the news.

"Brett, I took Kern out and we spent all the money you gave her on school clothes. . . $250 on school uniforms, socks, underwear, and a couple bras."

I often have to ask Kern's mother "What?". I was never very good at listening when words came out of her mouth. That's probably one of the reasons why we didn't work out.

But, this time, I heard exactly what she said. It didn't stop me from asking her my favorite question.

"What was that last thing you said?", hoping I heard her wrong.

"Yea, we got her a few bras. We have looked at them before because she liked the patterns on some of them. Now, she actually needs them."

I was speechless. I couldn't believe what she was saying to me.

My little girl needing a bra. The same girl I spent three years staying at home with when she was a toddler watching Blues Clues, Sesame Street, and Little Bear. From a bottle-carrying blue-eyed girl whose life revolved around when she would get to go in our pool in the front yard, to a young lady who now sends me text messages and needs a bra.

How did this happen? I know days, months, and years going by is how. But, how did it happen so fast?

You are not supposed to have a favorite child. You are supposed to love them all the same and do your best to treat them equally.

But, Kern will always be special and different to me. She was the first one. The one that taught me how to be a father, how to truly love, and how to put someones' needs, wants and desires in front of my own.

Seems she isn't done teaching me things. Now, I get to learn about buying and washing bras. Took me three years when I was in high school to learn how to take a bra off my girlfriend.

I don't think I will get that same amount time to learn how to be OK with my daughter growing up.


  1. Re: washing them..
    There's a delicate cycle on the washer and remember to hang them up to dry..
    That's all there is to it..
    Oh, she may put them in the dryer, but if you do, it's an excuse for her to buy new ones!! :):)

  2. Awww, someone gave you bra washing advice. How sweet.

    I started wearing a bra when I was twelve, and I didn't finish developing until I was 18 I think. I was a late bloomer.

    On the bright side......

    At least you aren't blogging about the boyfriends calling. Sounds like you have a little more time till that comes.

  3. It's hard to realize how grown up they get. One day they need bottles and diapers and pretty much the next it's bra's and cell phones. You've got a few more years where she still thinks you're the best guy on earth though.

  4. I feel you pain... went through this recently and it took me a while to adjust!! And on a more personal note..I can still remember when at 11 my mom took me shopping for my first bra..and my poor dad (we have special bond 2, 1st child.ect..) was emotional over it! He could not help it..he was overwhelmed!! you post brought back that memory! I, of course, wanted him to pretend that we had only shopped for jeans!!:) But now , as a grown up I am touched by what he went through..and can relate! its tough to watch them grow!!

  5. I know exactly how you only daughter is going to middle school tomorrow and my husband and I are having a HARD time letting her grow up!!!

  6. I hear you. My daughter doesn't need a bra quite yet, but the first signs are starting and it's just not fair. I thought she was supposed to be like WAY older. :)

  7. My boss has a daughter who will be a sophomore in high school this year. I am picturing you with the same deer-in-headlights look he's been wearing around the office lately.

  8. Don't worry, she will always be your little girl. I was the firstborn too, and I still think of myself as Daddy's girl (and the favorite too).

  9. it...just wait until she starts getting her monthly friend...then the real fun starts - you get to shop for her products!

  10. Hand washing....

    SIGH I am so sad about how fast time flies with the little ones. Seems more "marked" in girls what with the bras and such.

  11. What a great post!

    Always do up bras before putting them in the wash so they don't get wrapped around other things and put them in a zippered mesh (delicates) bag so that they can be pulled out of the wash easily. They shouldn't go in the dryer as the elastic wears down quickly.

    Good luck!

  12. What a great story and what a great dad. Even though its hard seeing them grow up the fact that you are there for those girls and growing right along with them is what they will remember.

    As parents we are not always perfect but with the help of our children we learn to be the best that we can be. I have a 13 year old and a 10 year old wearing bras now and a 7 year old crying because she doesnt have one. I can't let my baby grow up that fast!