Wednesday, January 6, 2010

When not to play with yourself

A conversation I had with my doctor Monday afternoon. What your about to read made me realize that there are people more stupid than me.

Doctor: "I really think it is best if we start you on a chemotherapy right away. You have a lot more spots on your face that are cancerous and I don't want to have to keep cutting you up."

Me: "You are the doctor. I will do whatever you think is best."

Doctor: "OK, good. You will apply the ointment every day for 30 days. Your probably going to break out all over your face and it won't be pretty. But, it will kill any cancer cells we can't see."

Me: "OK... let's do it."

Doctor: "Make sure you wash your hands after you put it on your face. I had a patient last year who had a serious problem after not washing his hands."

Me: "What happened? His hands swell up?"

Doctor: "No. He decided to play with himself a little after putting the ointment on and his scrotum swelled up. It was quite embarrassing for him to have to come back in here."

Me: "Good to know, Doc. No using the ointment when I masturbate. Got it."


  1. OMG! Well at least he made a few people giggle.

  2. And that would be a perfect example of a waste of skin...

  3. Hey new look? Cool! Note to self: No masturbating after applying rub 535. Got it!

  4. I thought it was good if some things swell when you play with them. Hmmm... it has been a while, though, so maybe I'm wrong.

  5. Ha ha ha ha! That made me LOL!

    Oh sweetie, it sounds like you have quite a bit of treatment ahead of you that isn't fun at all. We're thinking of you. Sending you good thoughts!

    What a great story! Wash hands before touching!!

  6. Washing up before, um, playing.. Good advice. :)
    Here's hoping all goes well for you!!

  7. Hum. One of those little known factoids? :)

  8. Proper hand washing - the answer to all things.

  9. Thats funny, at least he warned you... just sayin'

    over from Just Jules..

  10. LOL, That conversation actually happened? You live an interesting life Coach!!!

  11. Man... Can you imagine that guy calling his doctor? "Yea, remember that medicine you gave me for the face? Remind me, was I also supposed to use it for my penis or not?"