Monday, December 14, 2009

Break needed so I can work again

To be honest, Christmas and the holiday break can't come soon enough for me. I am ready for three weeks off. Now!

The last few weeks of dealing with the loss of a dear friend and having my second surgery in two months for skin cancer has left me yearning for days of sitting on the couch with nothing to do but write. I need to get back into it. I am suffering some serious withdrawals.

It isn't this blog that I need to get back to writing on. Don't get me wrong... I love my blog. But, I need to find my muse again on something that I have always wanted to finish.

A novel.

And, up until a month ago, I was enjoying the fact that I had actually been making progress on it. Each day, I would spend an hour or two writing and everything was flowing. Most importantly, I was beginning to really like what I saw on the screen in front of me.

Then, life came at me and everything came to an abrupt stop. It doesn't look as if it is going to settle down any time soon to allow me to focus completely on my little project.

On Friday, my dermatologist took 20 stitches out of my forehead and informed me that in January he would like to start me on chemotherapy treatment. Fortunately, the therapy is simply applying an ointment cream on my face. It doesn't sound nearly as bad as the typical chemotherapy that goes along with most cancers.

I can't help but laugh at the irony of me having to deal with any type of cancer while working on my novel. Cancer is at the center of my book. In fact, it is the reason behind everything that is the book.

It was in the summer of 2006 when the motivation of the book came to fruition. I didn't know it at the time that it would be the motivation for a future novel, it was me simply dealing with real life again.

Laying on hospital bed and awaiting to undergo a colonoscopy, I began to daydream about what I would do if the results of my test proved that I had colon cancer. The dream continued while I was under anestesia and it was so real, so beautiful, and so tangible.

When I was fully awake from the procedure and received the news that all was well, I couldn't stop thinking about the dream. I was glad the whole cancer scare ordeal was over, but I didn't want to lose what I saw and felt in the dream. I eventually stopped thinking about it and the thoughts of the dream were gone forever... Or, so I thought.

While struggling to come up with a post earlier this year, I stopped trying so hard and just started writing. Twenty minutes later, I had the start of my novel. I continued to work on it and I loved how everything I dreamed about came back to me so easily.

Wanting to get some feedback on what I wrote, I started a new blog and posted the first five days of a man heading out to live what he was told would be his last year of life. I have gotten some favorable and some not so favorable feedback on the early stuff.

But, what I have really found is that I like it. Most importantly, I love writing it. The whole process has been so enjoyable for me and I can't wait to get back into it once I get back into it. Does that make sense?

I don't know what will ever happen from it, and at this time, I don't really care what comes from it. I just want to continue to enjoy the process en route to finishing it.

I equate this journey to when I set out to finish my first marathon in 2002. I didn't care how fast I ran or what my time was when I completed the Los Angeles Marathons' 26.2-mile course. I just wanted to finish it. And, I did.

That's all I want to do now. Finish it.

(In his book Stephen King On Writing, King said the worst thing to do when trying to write a book is to have people read it while it is being written. The writer gets too caught up on what the reader thinks and stops staying true to his/her story. I figured King probably knows what he is talking about, so I stopped posting entries on the other blog after five days. If you would like to read the first five days, head over to Start with Day 1 and work back up to Day 5.)


  1. Nice to see you back writing. My father had skin cancer, but luckily caught it early. I am glad you are doing better. Are you cancer free ?

    As for writing, write what YOU want. It's your life, your work. Do what moves you.

  2. Hey, I've only been following your blog for a week or so. I hope the treatment goes well for you.

    I've just read the first 5 days, it reads great and leaves me wanting to read more. I'd love to have the motivation to finish a novel. I have three at various stages of being "unfinished"

    I'll look forward to you posting on here when it's published.

  3. Well, first of all, glad to see you back.

    Secondly, the book sounds awesome. The best writings come from another place, you know? When its easy, then its good! Let it flow. Open yourself up to the inspiration again.

    Thirdly, whew!

    Glad they caught the cancer early. I have another very good friend (also a daddy blogger) who is still undergoing lots of treatments for skin cancer. He's doing well but its been a very tough road.

    Sounds like things are busy. Dude, I SO get it. I'm ready for vacation too.

    Oh and I agree with Mr. King. :)

  4. The premise behind your book resonates with me because I heard those exact words. 3-12 months till death.

    I bargained for 365 days, pleaded for an entire year. My daughter died 42 days later.

  5. I hope you don't mind but the poem of the caged bird really touched me. I was going to post it on my blog.

  6. It really is good to see another post from you. Good for you writing a book. I agree with Stephen King. I find the more people read my stuff the more self conscious I get. Keep writing, you really have a beautiful voice!

  7. Hope you are doing well, and I wish you three weeks of super productive writing!

  8. Hey...I can't wait to

    And BTW, mentioned you on my blog today ;)

  9. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love that you are writing a novel, and writing it just for YOU. It has always been my dream to write a book, a sort of a memoir, if you will. I have never gotten past the first chapter, though.

    I really hope you kick the skin cancer - and I'm glad you don't have to go through typical chemo. Funny, that you opened another blog and posted parts of your book. I have thought about doing the exact same thing, thinking maybe it would motivate me if it felt like I was writing TO someone. But what Mr. King says makes sense!

  10. hi dear did you know my real name was Muse?

  11. Good luck man with all of it.

    I hope you find your muse.

  12. Keep writing, it will come back to you. You've gone through a lot lately. Maybe try writing a short story to get through the current events. Writing seems like a good outlet for you, so let it out.

  13. Sounds like you've had a tough stretch. Hang in there. From one daddy blogger to another, tomorrow is a new day...
    I am following, check my site out and follow me back...

  14. I just came to say, Merry Christmas !

  15. I'll definately go over and read it! There will never be a novel written that "everyone" loves. Just go do it! Pour your heart out! It'll be awesome!
    I have a forehead of scars from basal cell. Who knew back then???