Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Girls will be boys?

There are times as a single father that I think God is looking down at me and laughing his butt off. In so many ways, he really did play a cruel joke on me.

Four girls. Four of them. Not one little boy in the whole litter.

When I found out that I was going to be a father for the first time in 1997, I continually daydreamed of playing catch with "little Brett". Day after day, me and the little guy outside laughing it up while throwing around the pigskin.

Then, after nine months of playing out this fantasy, came Kern. A beautiful, healthy, blue-eyed girl. Disappointment was non-existent as I was thrilled to be a father. Besides, I had plenty of time to have a boy.

Then, came Savannah. Followed by Shelby, And, finally, Alani. Four girls for the football coach. There would be no more trying for the elusive boy. I was done after four.

I'd like to think that I have done a pretty good job of raising girls on my own. I do as much as any man can be expected to do to allow girls to be girls. The last thing I have wanted to do was to try and raise my girls as boys by only introducing them to what would typically be classified as "boy" stuff.

I have let them apply make-up to my face, have played Barbies with them, and have watched endless amounts of fashion shows. I have even participated in a conversation with them over who would be a better a boyfriend, Troy from the High School Musical trilogy or Jackson from the Hannah Montana television show.

I picked Troy because he was the better athlete, while they picked him because he was "cuter". Whatever.

So... Sunday morning I stood in the hallway watching my girls pretty themselves up on their own while getting ready for Church. They were facing a full-length mirror on the closet door, admiring their outfits and hairdo. It was one of the cutest things I have seen as a father.

With a great sense of pride, I continued to watch while thinking that I was actually playing a role in raising girls who would one day grow into beautiful women. I finally turned around and began to walk back to my room when Alani said something that made me stop.

"Hey Vannah," she said.


"Fart on my face, then I will fart on yours. OK?"


Damn. Looks like there is more work to be done.


  1. Nah. Seems pretty perfect to me. And you seem like an amazing dad...make up, huh? Barbies? Even I didn't have to do Barbies. My daughter was never really into them. Keep up the good work!

  2. My daughter was into Barbies, but her little brother was into pulling their heads off. I think you are doing a fine job. I think all girls should know the guy things in life just so they can hold their own when they become women.

  3. I just spit out my tea. People in the office are staring at me. Hilarious.

    Such a great blog.

  4. Troy is way better - cuter, better athlete, richer I am sure, better eyes and bod ... like there is a fight - pfffftttt.....

    ohhh, and girls don't fart?

  5. this is the cutest/funniest post ever!

  6. hahaha, priceless ! Sounds like something I would've done.

  7. I grew up in a house with three sisters... sounds just like us. My youngest sister and I used to climb trees and play with my dad's lincoln logs and army men. Now I am SO girlie, it is unbelievable.
    Don't worry coach, you seem to be doing a great job, they look beautiful. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  8. First ty for your comment on my post today.. Second I am one of 4 girls, although #2 and 3 were a set of twins. It took mom 11 years to try for me..Course having 3 in diapers at the same time can put the kabosh on any grandiose ideals of another baby. I think your daughters are lucky to have you.. and I don't care waht anyone says women can fart better then most men, we just usually don't admit to it hehehe

  9. Why do little girls --and big girls
    like talking about FARTS?
    my daughter is 30
    and still does.........!

  10. I think I've found a soul mate for my son.

  11. I can't convince my daughter that it's not ok to burp in public. I now you guys don't expect those kind of things from girls, but it's normal.

  12. HAHAHAHAHA! Funny, man :-) My parents have been wanting a granddaughter for the longest time. They had 6 grandsons as of a year ago and then one of my sisters finally had a girl. They're happy now. It's funny how that goes I guess. We always miss the things we don't have while still appreciating the things we do have. :-)

  13. I had this really adorable sweet photo-worthy image in my mind...and then came the fart...That is pretty hilarious! It's a good mix...a little bit of boy and a whole lot of girl!
    Holly @ 504 Main

  14. I love it.

    I was all, "Awwwwww..."

    Then I was all, "Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

    Greatness. :)

    Love this blog!!

  15. -I picked Troy because he was the better athlete, while they picked him because he was "cuter". Whatever.- LOVED this...!!! and your whole post was awesome! and it ended perfectly! Girly girls being , well, normal!!! You are a great dad and a better 'mother' then me as I have never played Barbie's!!!!! YOU rock! They will be stronger for having you in their life!!

  16. Just wanted to say that I am really enjoying your posts. I'm slowly reading my way through the old ones.

  17. Your girls are just beautiful! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Raising girls on your own and four of them to boot! WOW! I'm impressed. My Dear Hubby was a single dad til I met him. I was a single mom. I had two boys, he had one. We're still raising his. Best of luck to YOU! I am following now!

  18. LOL! This is funny!! My sister used to hold my head up her butt and force me to smell her farts. Not so girly like.

  19. Get outta here! That's freakin' hilarious. You know, my husband always exclaims he married a man because I am not shy about letting loose if I have to. TMI maybe, but oh well. He feels bad for the "poor bastard" (as he puts it) that marries our daughter some day, as she has followed in my footsteps.

    By the way, I will have to delve into your posts to see if I can get more of the backstory (if it's there). But you seem to be doing an amazing job with your daughters. Not many men I know who would proudly wear makeup and play Barbie!

  20. That was too funny!!! Sounds like your girls are a blast to be around. :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  21. Sweet and hilarious! I'm looking forward to the post where you shave your legs to demonstrate how it's done.

  22. You are a COOL dad! I have a hard time trying to get my daughter to do girly things and she has not hit that phase where guys are cute. They are still gross to her. I look forward to reading your journey with the girls and life.


  23. LMAO, what lady like behavior!
    You're such a fun dad.

    I agree with Unknown Mami...legs baby...

  24. Hilarious how you picture reality, so vividly. It's great how you manage with your four girls.

    Bravo to that! Thanks for passing by my blog, extremely appreciate it.

  25. Giggle,Giggle! That is so cute.

    You are an awesome Dad!

  26. I have been reading you on hot dads for a while. New here. What a great post to come in on.. I love this.
    my poor son feels your pain somewhat, being the only boy with me and my girls. His father has been but a speck in his life. He survived though and is now proudly serving in the armed forces.
    You sound like a wonderfully fun dad. Good for you