Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Me and Hannah Montana


I still remember the day I realized that my Dad was no longer cool. It was heartbreaking, shocking, embarrassing, and funny all at the same time.

I was a sophomore in high school and was enjoying a Saturday morning of laying on the couch watching a college football game. My viewing pleasure was interrupted when I received a phone call from a classmate.

The first sentenced that came from him changed the whole perception I had of my father.

"Brett, your Dad is in your front yard washing his truck in speedos."

"What?"

"No lie, man. My Mom and I just drove by and saw him out there. She was laughing her ass off. Just thought you should know."

As I hung up the phone, I hoped that my friend was messing with me and my Dad was not wearing speedos. I knew he owned a pair, however, to actually where them out in public? He couldn't, could he?

When I get to the front window and peered out, I saw that he could. We lived in a neighborhood where so many of my friends lived and he was out there in something that looked like a bottom to a woman's bikini.

Just thinking about that visual causes my stomach to knot up. It is a memory that I hope doesn't come back to me again.

However, that moment made me make a vow to myself that I would always try to remain cool in the eyes of my future children. It is a mantra that remains with me today as the father of four beautiful girls.

In an effort to further my coolhood with my children, I fixed my head on the body of Billy Ray Cyrus in a picture with his daughter Miley over the weekend. I then placed the picture of Hannah Montana and I on the desktop of my computer and waited for my girls to notice.

Their reaction was perfect.

"Dad, Dad, Dad..." yelled Shelby. "When were you with Hannah Montana? Savannah, Alani, come here and check this out!"

As the three marveled at the picture, I played coy in the kitchen while making their lunch.

"Dad, this isn't real,'' said Vannah, the oldest of the three. "Can you do this with us and put us with her? This is cool!"

It worked. I am still cool in the eyes of my girls.

As far as my Dad? He lives 12 hours away now. He can wear speedos whenever he wants and still be cool to me.

For more Wordful Wednesdays go to Seven Clown Circus.

33 comments:

  1. Great stuff! You really do have a great blog.

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  2. we need HM rehab in this house. i'm about to jump off a cliff!

    but... i still buy the shit (oops, forgot this is a cuss-free blog now!), download the videos and know all the words to the songs. all in an effort to be cool.

    i think i might just throw on my proverbial speedos and just say f it! being cool isn't fun sometimes! lol

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  3. This is hysterical! I've photoshopped collective tons off of my friends, placed them in photos with everyone from Brad Pitt to the Pope, and I always love the reactions!

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  4. Laughing so much..I related to this post... my dad had some kind of mid-life crisis, grew his hair long and did burnouts when he dropped me off at school (and he was the towns accountant)... so very uncool...

    but untill that point I felt him a God who knew everything and could fix everything... sounds like your girls think of you the same... great post

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  5. OMG I just about died laughing just now.

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  6. I love the phone call conversation with your buddy! This cracked me up. I don't know if eyes could ever take the image of my dad in speedos so I'm glad it was yours.

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  7. Oh my gosh!! That is soooooooooo funny! I can't just feel the horror:-)

    Happy WW:-)

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  8. That is fabulous. I just wish little girl pop-stars weren't so painful....

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  9. This is such a great post!!! Funny, yet filled with love of fathers that are way cool. Speedos? Oh my oh my.

    My Wordful this week is the fascination of 'kids' and toilet water!!! Come by if you can find some time today! I would love your company! Happy Wednesday.

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  10. seriously - what would ever make an adult male wear a speedo? did you know he owned one up to that point? my great grandma would say that is what you get with those crazy Californians.... yeah, she never left Minnesota!

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  11. *lol* what an awesome blog post, it made me chuckle! You should meet my dad, no speedo's...but he is a halarious goofball! He's a cool dad!

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  12. That is so funny. And for your sake, I hope that memory doesn't come back, but the memory you made with your daughters is priceless.

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  13. omg! your dad in nut-huggers. I think I would pass out if my hubby wore nut-huggers!! LOL

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  14. Funny stuff (about your dad)... cool stuff (about Hannah). We are slowly getting over Hannah here... she's being replaced by True Jackson and Selena Gomez (thank God). Oh, and HGTV (she's a little designer)... that's even better!

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  15. Ohhh Wow....... It is great how you are willing to go that extra mile for your girls. I think any man that would wear speedos should be sent to a rehab some where and be forced to look at pictures of himself in them over and over until he admits what they really look like on him. No one looks good in speedos and any man that actually thinks he does, is very deluded.
    Have a great week.

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  16. That just made me literally laugh out loud.

    That's fabulous.

    ;)

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  17. Hahaaaa!!! Too funny! I can SO see a picture of that in my head!!!

    and...

    I need to take some cool Mom lessons. Dad is always the cool one...and then after his weekend...they come home to me. Mommy Dearest. :(

    Found your blog from a fellow friend!

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  18. This is hysterical! Im still laughing..heheh Anyway what you did to remain cool in your girls eyes was awesome.....and Im sure seeing their reaction was priceless!!!!

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  19. What a great post!! I love a good laugh and the mental image of your face when you saw your dad in the speedo is HILARIOUS! You are still cool in my book!

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  20. very cute post!! Your girls are lucky to have you...

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  21. Shameless use of PhotoShop. And I think the real question is--Does your dad have a Speedo body?

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  22. Perfection. :)

    The story of you dad in speedos made my day, too! :)

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  23. your dad. Sorry. I'm the world's worst proofer.

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  24. I love your Wednesday posts. This one is priceless. I will have to put you on my calender so I won't miss a Wonderful Wednesday post!

    You are too sweet!

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  25. Have to laugh! We call those Speedos "Budgie smugglers" over here in OZ

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  26. Soooo, funny! Understand the need to feel cool! We have kiddos, and the best compliment we have received is by the kids friends who say we are the coolest parents!!

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  27. Awesome pic! You are a good dad. :)

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  28. You might be able to use this story as a threat for the girls. You will never have to punish them. Just lay out a speedo once you have told them this and say, "Don't make me get my speedo". If that had been the threat at my house I would have been perfect. Girls humiliate much easier than boys. Can I borrow the story for my 14y/o?

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  29. Thanks for coming by my blog.

    Btw...did you know Jill has a speedo fetish? She is SO setting you up!;)

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  30. Totally get this one... After my parents divorced, my Dad would go rollerblading in bike shorts.... NOT PRETTY!

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  31. Awesome idea & awesome blog! My 6-year-old would think that's the coolest thing ever if my husband did that!!!

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