That all changed when I saw the picture of my oldest daughter and I together in our football garb. It is a picture that I look at numerous times during the day and one that can bring me out of any funk I may be in.
Kern is the person who taught me what true love is supposed to be. Before she came into my life, love was something that I hoped to receive, and not always something that I looked to give. She changed that the first time I held her in my arms with her blue eyes looking into mine. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life than those blue eyes.
Two days after she was born, I decided to put a hold on my dreams of being a head football coach and became a stay-at-home father. I would have never imagined that walking away from football and teaching would have been such an easy rode for me to take. It was a decision I never regretted and I am so thankful I made considering the relationship with her mother and I did not work out. It gave me two years of nine-hour days to learn how to be a father and how to truly love.
I owe everything I am as a father to Kern.
I went back to teaching after that time with Kern and started a new life with another woman. I had three more daughters with her before that relationship also came to an end. Today, those three daughters spend the majority of their time with me at my home. Kern is blessed to have a very loving mother and she typically spends every other weekend with us. I often worry that Kern is being cheated of having a relationship with her father that her sisters have with me. It is during those times that I look back when she was a toddler and try and rekindle moments of us together with no interuptions from anyone else.
Times like the two of us together with arms around each other on the football field captured in the picture. Just looking at it motivates me to create more moments like that every day.
She deserves that from me.
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